Where have all the good men gone? To ManRay, of course! Shawn, Brian, and Kyle of Throwing Shrapnel were seen leaving ManRay's eponimous "Campus" night after a rousing evening of sex and candy. The deep growls? The permeating sneer of distortion tinged guitar lines? "It's all just for show," says Shawn, formerly of Tasty Buttocks, "Our real passion is doing pig piles with the thirty or forty nude men."

But where does that leave the current state of hardcore? "Wide open for a randy good time!" says Jim of Bane of Existence, "I've been looking for a something to do with myself when I'm not trying to pet the cat 'the wrong way.' You know the expression, 'How many members of Bane of Existence does it take to get wild with Bleeding Through?'" Jim looks at this reporter with a wink and a slight nod, "Just one, when his friends aren't around!"

Yet, fine readers, one can't help but wonder where the rumor mill will strike next.

Especially when Heavy Rotation is changing its name to...HEAVY FLOTATION?? That's right. Jessica Smith of HR is now the proud owner of a baby dolphin. "When it comes to pets," says Jessica next to a 1700-gallon pool, "I don't goof around!"