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:	post by ArrowHead nli at 2005-12-22 16:33:24

succubus said:

hmmm i also enjoying shopping for my guy because he hates getting himself clothes and i also did a lot of christmas shopping for his family since he was too busy...i also play the secretary role quite well (for him)

Shouldn't you be in the kitchen, instead of posting on forums?

Q: Why did the chick cross the road?
A: Somebody moved her kitchen.

Q: What's my girl's favorite flavor of ice cream?
A: I don't give a shit. I only have coffee, and she's gonna eat it off my dick

Q: Why do girls cry during sex
A: because my fingers jammed in her pee hole.

Wy wife is like hailey's comet. She only comes every 76 years.

Wy wifes vagina is sooo loose, sometimes I have to roll her over, spit on her ass, and pretend I'm done.

Q: How do you find a girl with no legs?
A: Follow the big snail trails.

Q: What's the best thing about banging a girl with no legs?
A: You can spin her around.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q. Why do women have breasts?
A. So men will talk to them.

A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy is wife a new car.
She curtly declines his offer by saying, "That's not quite what I had in mind."
Frantically he offers her a new house.
Again she rejects his offer, "That's not quite what I had in mind."
Curious, he asks: "What did you have in mind?"
She retorts, "I'd like a divorce."
He answers, "I hadn't planned on spending quite that much."

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A women who won't do what she's told.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Q: Why do men break wind more than women?
A: Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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