Does anyone else have to go through this? Can we start a support group? Can someone ram pencils into my ears for me...

you love it and you know it.
just think about how much $$ you'll save on pron

Haha... My girl and I apparently made our old apartment physically shake. One time, we knocked a glass of water off of my brother's headboard onto his sleeping girlfriend's head. Their room was at the exact opposite end of the house.

I wish this were a "typing something long and then having your computer crap out before you post it" depreciation thread

My roommates a big lady, she has a mouth to match it. It's horrifying.

Destroy...fuckin a man. Nice job. haha

My roomate and his girlfriend never stop fucking. They've even tried to do it when i'm in the room. Whenever I hear that loud clapping noise in the shower I just get the fuck out of there.

Oh yeah and one time they were in the shower I kept on hearing them fart and burp... and i'm pretty sure it turned them on

AAAHH Mine totally try doing that shit when we're in the room. She gave her boyfriend a handjob in the front seat while I was in the back!! WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? Goddammit I will NEVER go anywhere with them again.

Somehow, hearing your roomate loudly masterbate is worse than them having sex. :Cringes:

...oh dude....I feel so much better now

By loudly, I mean with alot of "mouth music". :cringes again:

Have you told them to fuck off yet?

I did when they did that shit with my daughter 10 feet away the other night. That was my one big rule to live in MY house, no fucking moaning when Zoe is home. I shouldn't even have to SAY that, but I did.

i have a friend who knocked the phone off the hook in his room fucking his girlfriend. his sister in law downstairs picked up the phone to call someone and all she heard was "oh yea,fuck me yea yea" and a bunch of slapping noises

hahaha to the last post..but i'm with pam...zoe shouldn't have to hear any of that..ohh she's the cutest!!! =)
as for the topic...no comment and if aaron typed a long story and lost the text..oh well, i'm not typing it! hah

For me it is not a roommate, but Upstairs neighbors, Whom are in their 50-60's I believe .....Gross

gross?
you won't be having sex then?

i don't know, listening to dave have sex is kinda awesome. except when you're trying to watch the red sox. then it's distracting and weird.

Ive heard my sis having sex 2x.It was so lame

succubus said:

It is the mental pics they are leaving me with,that is gross,Carina.Hey if they can still have sex at their age,Go for it,Just be quiet about it

Ah, memories of bunk beds at Umass, trying to wait until he's asleep up there before I start shagging this or that gal.

I was that roommate.

i used to live with a big black guy and one night i heard him railing the shit out of his girlfriend. she came out of the room after and stumbled up the stairs to the shower. he came out a minute later, dripping with sweat, and followed her up to the shower so he could bonk her some more.

i think my current roommates are none too thrilled with my antics when my girlfriend comes down. a couple months ago, one of them was having a loud party while we were trying to watch a movie in my room, so we had loud sex to drown out their noise.

InventorofEvil said:

i caught my sister getting eaten out by her ex a few years ago. it was disturbing. all i wanted was to walk out to the kitchen to get a glass of water. i didn't expect to see that going on in the living room. they didn't even notice me. i quietly backpedaled to my room in horror.

I've caught my sister and her friends several times, fucking their boyfriends IN MY ROOM.

Whores.

DrinkHardThrashHard said:

it's cool that you caught her friends in the act. are they hot?

the best would be if you caught two of your sister's female friends lezzing out on your bed and they asked you to join.

DrinkHardThrashHard said:

what did you do when you caught them, did you leave them alone or tell them to get the fuck out?

i AM that roommate. oh well, i would have this problem if my roomate weren't an antisocial retardo ass hat. but seeing as how he is, and i don't plan on stoppin the ass banging on his account...fuck it. literally.

It's worst when you live with your parents

DrinkHardThrashHard said:



dude, in your room? thats fucking raunch. thats why i hang weird obscure posters in my room, try to freak anyone out thats coming in here

I had one of my best friends and his girl living with me for more then a Year not long ago. He would go to town on her and we would all hear it in the living room and just die laughing. Then she'd come out in her robe clutching her cooch and she'd get a standing O for her effort and takin it like a champ.
The best one was one time the "Ohhhhh ohhh Oh god! Ohhhhh!" Got broken by an "Awwwww EWWWWW!" and her bf laughing his ass off when he blasted a load on her chest and I almost shit my pants.

I disrupted people a few times in my own sexual athletics. It's kind funny when only because in my circles of friends, if the noise is loud and rocking, you get props after coming out of the room.

I wouldn't care really if this was her house, or even if we split the rent...but she rents a room, this is MY house. It's a matter of respect. My kid shouldn't be hearing you fuck in my goddamn house. Dammit.

i'm definitly guilty of this but its not my fault....my sister sleeps in the room above me and i had a broken box spring for about two years that would squeek sooooo loud even if you like rolled while you where sleeping ....so you can only guess the sounds she has to listen to in her bedroom...but shes a douche so its kinda like revenge

pam nli said:

Dude, my roomate is the same way. A big fat whale who makes alot of fuckin noise with her nasty boyfriend.

Fat chicks need love too. But they gotta pay.

that's a quote from somrthing.
I just can't remember where so I'm guessing the family guy

I like hearing my roommate having sex. if you can hear her, it means she is riding my face.

though if I heard her and I wasn't there, I would be sans roommate quickly.

you are correct, sir.

blergh!

I make more noise when I'm masturbating than I do when I'm actually having sex.
So does Will Arnett.

I used to get it on with my high school girlfriend at my parents' house, I had the upstairs to myself so it wasn't usually an issue. However, I didn't have a door at the top of the stairs. One day, we're doing the mommy daddy dance, and apparently the mattress was making a bit too much noise. So my mom comes waltzing on up to see what's going on. While I'm banging my girl, from behind, with the both of us facing the door. Let me tell you, seeing your mother over the back of your girlfriend's head is not the ideal viewing angle. I don't even want to think about the view she got. The worst part was, she (my girl) was so unaware of her surroundings at the time, she didn't have the presence of mind to jump under the covers like I did. I had to stop her from leaving out the window that night.

i think i need to hear the rest of that story

Aegathis said:

haha, agreed
that's my fucking worst fear. i don't need mom seeing that shit, or even KNOWING about it. so uncomfortable

When I lived in with my old roomate in Milford (destroyYouALot know these people), I had moved in after this kid gary had recently left and they were lookin for a new person. So gary used to still stop by all the time anyway, which was cool, except he would feel the need to walk into my room and sit down on the corner of my bed while i was in the middle of having sex with my current gf. When i would be like, gary do you mind, and he'd be like, "oh man, nah its cool, it dont bother me...". The same guy would come in also at those times with his girlfriend at the time and try and use me to settle disputes bewtween the 2 of them... itd be like godam tv court show while i was in the middle of doin my thing. Its funny to think of it now, but damn, it was annoying then.

I can't even stand when people are in the same fucking city as me when I'm having sex...
Nevermind some kid named Gary asking me to settle disputes.

this scumbag piece of dogshit from Milford used to be my 3rd roommate and used to bang the grossest, fattest pigs he could scrape off of the bottom of the barrell of females. it would have been like fucking a grilled cheese sandwich shoved into the bloated rotting corpse of a rhinoceros

his name was Bobby Cronin by the way

Bobby Cronin...
Sounds like a pile of dogshit.

hmm, i know a lot of people from milford, name doesnt sound familiar, but who knows, oh, and i mean milford MA

KeithMutiny said:

are you talking about crusty gary who used to get drunk and puke all over my apartment?

no no no, different gary, a gary from up here.

Keith, was this pre, during or post Nikki?

ha ha ha this is awesome

and yeah that blows serious donkey balls when that happens!

Dankill said:

oh, a couple years pre.

man. fat chicks are fucking loud. how do i know this?

uh.

i..

heard... my... my friend told me.

...

LOL

At least they work hard for their lay.

Look, Im not reading all of this, but you cant tell me that when they go at it, you dont trow a few fingahs down.
Cmon.

i use to live in an apt. and the 22 year old girl upstairs was a haircut person. i started to go see her to get my haircut and became friends since she was technically my neighbor. anyway finally one day at 230am i hear all this noize. i'm like what the!??!?! woke me up from a sound sleep. a few nights later i hear it again, few nights later again the weekend again, the following week again. ahhhhhhhhhhhh.... drove me crazy. you could say i was jealous... needless to say i stopped getting my haircut from her and moved.

Why didn't you just start banging her so you could get your haircut for free?
That'd be a George Costanza move if I ever saw one.

TRUST ME, i wanted to so bad. but got denied. i went to see her for like 12 haircuts and on the 12th haircut we went out to get coffee and i thought "Yup good good" but was sadly told, "Oh i am flattered but i just started dating..." oh ok... the very next night is when i heard the noize and her yelling. i honestly think she did it unpurpose. i did go get my haircut one more time after hearing all this but i just felt real awkward. i put up with her noize for about 6 weeks before my lease was up and i moved out.

free haircuts, damn it my plan backfired!

We should totally kill this girl.

i think its funny that the day before i started hearing her escapades is the night i asked her out on a date and got denied.

i wonder if she still lives in that apt. building. maybe i should go get my haircut at supercuts again! hahahahaha

Why did she deny you?
Are you hideous?

Yeti said:

jesus christ...lol

Hi, Pam!

Well she denied me because she said she just started going out with this guy she met from a friend. she said otherwise she'd love to go out on a date. she did tell me to keep in touch and call her (after i moved) but i never did. i have a GF now anyway.

Hi Beakey!! How ya been, killa?

I've been all right.
I'm glad I caught you, actually.
There's a mandatory meeting at the Quincy Center T-Station tonight.
We kinda both have to be there.

Resistance is futile.

they'll never take me alive.

You'll come crawling back someday.
They all do.

Never! I've changed! I'm a different person now. Those were different times.

Well, I've got pictures.
But, then again, you probably do too.

It's probably in our best interests to never become enemies.
I want the people on this board to think I was always awesome.

lol. the people on this board already hate my guts so I stand to lose little. however, that arrangement is fine with me.

besides...YOU make the breakfast.

and oh man do I have pictures.

I tend to regard roommate sex as rather discourteous. I knew they are just enjoying themselves. But putting me in such an awkward positions showed an offensive lack of consideration. I thought I was rather clever by making sheep noises (baaa baaa). I was so persistent he was unable to finish. They started cursing and got dressed go finish it in the bathroom block. That'll teach 'em.

Whats sex? Id sure as hell wouldnt know.Havnt had pussy in ages :(

maybe if you stopped vomiting souls it would be easier...just a thought

I know all about it!